Author Archives: Orit Esther Riter

BS’D

According to the Steipler HaKadosh, one of the main dangers we regularly face in ‘forgetting’ our emuna comes from our ego.  The weakening of one’s trust in Hashem that comes in the form of doubts, worries and frustrations most often originate in the negative trait of arrogance.

Rav Hisda in Masechet Sotah 5 says in the famous verse, “Ein Ani v’hu yecholin ladur b’yachad… (Every Man in whom is haughtiness of spirit, Hashem declares, I and he cannot both dwell in the world).”  Pride is a destructive force as in another text in the Gemara, Rav Elazar writes, “Over every man in who is haughtiness of spirit the Shechinah laments.” In fact, the bulk of Sotah discusses the sin of conceit in a very harsh manner.

Superiority in many of us may have been part of the molding of our character as children.  However, as we mature, we must remove this negative trait as it only leads to our downfall.  Once we are able to control and channel our arrogance, we will find ourselves flourishing with emuna and all of our doubts will simply disappear.

This comes as a product of the renewed feeling of not being entitled to anything.  If we could only live our lives with the attitude that everything is a gift, to be more precise an undeserved gift that we are given by Hashem solely out of His eternal love for us, we would reach an unbreakable level of emuna.

A key tool in increasing the attribute of humility comes from learning divrei mussar (moral discipline).  There is an abundance of CDs, shiurim and books available that help us acquire this noble trait of humbleness.  As we develop this praiseworthy quality, our ability to attach ourselves to the Borei Olam with emuna shleimah will become, B’H, second nature.

Today’s daily dose is dedicated to the refuah shleimah of Roula Chaya bat Latifeh a mother of three who fell suddenly into cardiac arrest and is now in a coma, r”l.  May Hashem shower her with rachamei shamayim and complete healing refuat hanefesh and refuat haguf amongst all of Klal Yisrael who are sick and suffering b’karov, b’rachamim, Amen!

BS’D

On Shabbat, we receive the special gift of soul-union with Borei Olam.  We experience His companionship – an envelopment of togetherness.  This comes as a result of leaving the commotion and fragmentation of the past workweek behind and entering into a state of unity and peace within oneself, with the souls of Klal Yisrael, and undoubtedly with Hashem.

Upon giving over our will to Hashem, we become one with Him.  This ‘enjoins us together’ allowing Hashem’s presence to saturate our entire being.  It is almost like entering a spiritually sensitized habitat where material barriers are barred from entering.  Over the six day workweek, we must work so hard to experience this amazing ‘high’.  However, on Shabbat, it enters our life ‘naturally.’

Why then do many of us not feel this ‘high’?  Each of us can feel Hashem to the degree that we work on the refinement of our middot and the way in which we keep Hashem’s mitzvot.    The stronger our desire to ‘see’ Hashem while working to improve our character traits, the more intense Divine energy will be poured our way.  The more we think about Shabbat during the mundane routine of our week, the stronger our bond with Hashem will be on this holy day.

We must observe Shabbat below on earth in order to merit being its mate in the World-to-Come.  Observing in this case refers to honoring and anticipating its arrival.  By beautifying Shabbat with our best china, exquisite delicacies, and royal attire, we are proclaiming to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, “We await Your arrival and are honored to ‘host’ You.”

Preparing ourselves, our family and our homes for the Shabbat Queen must be accompanied by joy since we are being honored with Her presence.  The simple deed of changing our clothes to regal attire should bring us joy since we are emulating Borei Olam Who ‘changes His garb on Shabbat and adorns Himself in multiple garments of Light.”

What simcha – such an honor.  Thank you, Hashem, for being our guest this and every Shabbat.

Today’s daily dose is dedicated to the refuah shleimah of Rafael Elisha Meir ben Devorah.  He is a 6-year-old boy who doctors say has a week to live. Please daven for him and his family.  The family is in touch with very big gedolim.  Any woman who would like to raise her level of tzniut in the merit of a refuah shleimah for Rafael Elisha ben Devorah will get a bracha from them.  Please email Chaya Dana Parkoff cdparkoffcoaching@gmail.com to do so.  May HaKadosh Baruch Hu shower rachamei Shamayim on this beautiful little boy and family and gift him with a complete healing amongst all of Klal Yisrael who are sick and suffering b’karov, b’rachamim, Amen.

Have a wonderful Shabbat Kodesh!

BS’D

There is a phenomenon called self-belief.  A person may live his life certain that He believes in Hashem, nevertheless he really has faith in himself. Let us look at nine questions which we should answer with full honesty in order to discover whether we really trust Hashem or ourselves.

1)      The ba’al habitachon (man who trusts in Hashem) has inner tranquility and lives a life of calmness. How much inner composure do you have?  Do you often worry or have fears?  Are you overly concerned about your livelihood?  If we trust in Hashem, we remain peaceful even in the face of uncertainty.

2)     Do you look to others to help resolve your hardships and anticipate that they will ‘rescue’ you from your troubles? (Not as messengers but as ‘independent agents’).

3)     Are you investing an abundance of hishtadlut (exerted effort) to bring about a yeshua?  In other words, do you see the solution to your problems as a product of your intervention or cause-and-effect?

4)     Do you get angry easily when things do not go your way?  A person with strong emuna is able to let go of his feelings more readily as he knows that it is not within his control and is being directed from above for his eternal best.

5)     Where are you in terms of experiencing feelings of jealousy and envy? How is your response when you hear something good occurred is someone else’s life while it is that exact same thing which you majorly lack?  This displays an unwillingness to accept Hashem’s just ways together with the feeling that things should be different.

6)     Does your ego get in the way? We have nothing of our own. Our intellect, physical features, and everything about us is not ours.  They are lent to us on this temporary journey called this world.

7)     How is our Torah learning?  In spite of those busy times at work, do we make the time to connect spiritually?

8)    What is your reaction to paying yeshiva tuition, Shabbat expenses, Yom Tov costs, or supporting a Torah organization or a Torah scholar?  Do you give wholeheartedly believing that this is money given to you by Hashem from His ‘own’ personal funding account?

9)     How grateful are you to Hashem?  Do you see everything, yes everything, in your life as a gift and not earned by you because you ‘worked for it’ and ‘deserve it’?

These are tough questions indeed.  Please respond, with or without your name, in the comment and post section at the end.  It will be interesting to learn from one another’s answers.

Today’s daily dose is dedicated to the refuah shleimah of Yaakov Tzvi ben Anat.  He is a young boy having hernia surgery today.  May the malachim guide the hands of the doctors and gift Yaakov Tzvi ben Anat with a complete healing amongst all of Klal Yisrael who are sick and suffering b’karov, b’rachamim, Amen!

BS’D

We should strive to live a life which depicts a surrendering of our will to that of Hashem’s will.  ‘Whatever is straight and good in Your eyes Hashem is the way I wish for You to direct me.”  If we reach out to Hashem with such simple words, B’H we will be zoche to live out the passuk in tehillim, “Rotzei Hashem et yeraiav, et hameyachalim l’chasdo /  Hashem desires those who fear Him, those who long for His kindness.” (Tehillim 147:10).

Hashem’s intimate closeness and supervision in our lives will never cease if we only desire to attach ourselves to Him.  There is no room for despair. We must keep hoping with more resolve each time and in time B’H we will see yeshuot in our lives.

I heard a beautiful shiur last week by a Rav in Teaneck, NJ, Rabbi Simon shlit’a, who made a very moving point. The words ‘I can’t’ really mean ‘I don’t want to’.  Ein davar haomed lifnei haratzon (nothing can stand in front of a person’s will) or in simple English: when there is a will, there is a way.

We hold within us an inner point of truth that is a direct pipeline to infinity otherwise known as our G-dly spark.  Storehouses of potential greatness sit dormant within each of us.  However, if we do not wish to enter the storeroom, we cannot benefit from what it has to offer. If we do not actively pursue finding Hashem in our lives, we will not sense His being.

There is no ‘stopping’ Hashem from pouring boundless goodness into our lives.  However, He wants us to recognize where it is coming from and not delude ourselves into believing that it is a result of cause and effect or natural happenings.

Committing ourselves to doing teshuva every single day will unclog the channel for blessings to pour forth.  Hoping for an ease-up in our hardships cannot come about if we are steering on the wrong path.  All blessings travel through a spiritual passageway. If we aren’t on this route, we cannot catch them.

We must take the first step toward forming a strong bond with Hashem.  This drive comes from a heart of passion to feel His existence and invite Him into our lives.  As we become enveloped in His embrace we will find it easier to ‘let go’ and cast our burdens onto Him.

Today’s daily dose is dedicated to the blessing of zera bar kayama, having children to Sara Rivka bat Gittel Yuta.   May she together with all of the righteous Jewish women merit to give birth to healthy children and continue to build their bayit ne’eman b’Yisrael, b’mazal tov ub’karov, Amen!

BS’D

Haboteach b’Hashem chesed yesovevenu (The one who trusts in Hashem, kindness will envelop him).  Why?

Firstly, Hashem does not want to ‘disappoint’ those who hope and display their reliance on Him.  Secondly, measure for measure, when we entrust ourselves only in Hashem’s hands without any rhyme or reason attached to it, so shall our yeshua come about through illogical means.  Let us not be confused. Illogical is not miraculous. It is simply a way in which we hadn’t realized the yeshua could occur.

Lastly, because I allowed myself to trust in that which I cannot see, the path that my yeshua will travel on to reach me will not be shown to the harmful forces which may dispute my worthiness in receiving it measure for measure.

Sometimes, we still feel, though, that we are undeserving of a yeshua due to our transgressions.  Yet, if we closely read the passuk above again, we shall see that Hashem’s kindness embraces us as a result of our trust, not our worthiness.  It is appropriately known as chesed chinam (unconditional kindness).

The conclusion to this: when we fail to hope and wait for the yeshua, we deprive ourselves from allowing Hashem’s kindness to cuddle us. Hashem wants to shower us with good, His goodness and our eternal best. However, if we stop ourselves from hoping, we essentially seal off the channel for the yeshua to arrive.

So what am I hoping and trusting Hashem to do?  Steer me away from anything that is not beneficial for me in this world.  I do not want to travel on a road which is unsafe for me to be on.  Hashem is my ‘tour guide’ in this world and I am but a tourist needing Him to show me the way to the most exalted lofty places!

May the zechut of today’s learning serve as an iluy neshmat Rina Lucille bas Riva Rut on her yahrtzeit today, Amen.

Today’s daily dose is dedicated to the refuah shleimah of Akiva Meir ben Malka a beautiful two year old who is running a high fever and simply not doing well.   May HaKadosh Baruch Hu shower him with a complete healing amongst all of those sick and suffering in Klal Yisrael, b’karov, b’rachamim, Amen!

BS’D

Today, 15 Kislev, is the yahrtzeit of Yehudah HaNasi ztk’l.  Rabbi Yehudah HaNasi was the editor of the Mishnah in its final form. He is referred to as “Rebbi,” Teacher par excellence, and as “Rabbeinu HaKadosh,” our Holy Rabbi.    Light a candle in his memory.  May he serve as an advocate on high for Klal Yisrael, Amen!

How do we clarify the teaching that when Hashem ‘creates’ a miracle for us it is deducted from our ‘eternal reward account’? Chazal teach us that this refers only to the person who makes a distinct separation in his mind between nature and miracle.  Let us delve further.

When we see this world as two separate powers, the force of nature and the concept of miracle, and make a request before Hashem that ‘qualifies’ as a miracle, measure for measure we need to ‘pay’ Hashem for ‘troubling’ Him to make a miracle.   However, if we truthfully live with the idea that everything is possible and it is all comes from Hashem Yitborach and there is no such thing as natural or miraculous means, than we are in fact making a simple request which is not a ‘big deal’ for Hashem to bring about. That being the case, no ‘payment’ is required and Hashem does not have to create an unusual chain of events to fulfill our request.

This is a remarkable insight that can be further understood by the following example.  If I was in distress over not being able to make my mortgage payment this month under ‘normal’ circumstances, my anguish is the result of my inability to see my salvation through any other means but natural conditions which are not present. My hope is limited to rational thinking and the means by which the rescue may come about is constricted to that which I think is possible.

However, if I contemplate the endless options of how Hashem may send me a yeshua, some of which I have no ability to even fathom, I am connecting to limitless ways by which I will be able to make my mortgage payment.  In fact, because I believe in that which I cannot comprehend or see, Hashem Be’H will likely bring about the solution to my problem from a place that I least expected or knew existed.

You see, I am connecting to infinite possibilities since Hashem is limitless and kol yachol (able to do it all).  The more I trust in HaKadosh Baruch Hu, the further He will reveal to me the never-ending possibilities to resolve my hardships.

BS’D

In the sefer Nefesh Chaim written by Rav Chaim m’Volozhin ztk’l he writes that there is an amazing segula to annul harsh decrees.  It unfolds through uttering three simple words, Ein od Milvado three times consecutively.  When we plant in our hearts that everything comes from Hashem and nothing can come about without His personal intervention, we tap into Hashem’s rachamim thus sweetening and shortening the difficult times.

The words ‘There is none other than Him’ brings to light the concept that there is no other power in the universe other than Him.  This encourages us to subjugate ourselves to performing His will. The intense task of surrendering one’s mind and spirit in spite of the pain that one feels is very powerful.  Measure for measure by going against our natural tendencies, we will merit B’H yeshuot above nature.

When we recite the words ‘Hashem Hu HaElokim (Hashem is our G-d)’ we are in essence saying that Hashem is ‘the nature’ since the word Elokim=HaTeva (nature).  We are reaffirming that there is no other force that can bring about anything at any time other than HaKadosh Baruch Hu.

The sefer Shomer Emunim teaches us that when a person does not strengthen himself in emuna and bitachon in Hashem Yitborach, he places himself in a risky place whereby difficulties may appear in his life. These hardships are essentially ‘wake up’ calls for us to realize that we are treading on the wrong path and need to re-evaluate where we are heading.

Difficulties may c”v work to further distance ourselves from emuna in Hashem since we become emotionally weakened and pained by the challenge.  However the Ba’al Shem Tov HaKadosh reveals to us that particularly during this time we should be aware of this threat, increase our tefillot and beseech Hashem that He gift us with clarity of thought and an extra dose of emuna to help us make it through.

Today’s daily dose is dedicated L’iluy neshmat Rivka bat Avraham z’l. May her neshama bask in the Divine radiance amongst all of the tzaddikim who have departed from this world, Amen!

The Ninth of the Ninth

BS’D

When we act in trust towards Hashem it is even more powerful than tefilla.  We learn this from the incident of when B’nai Yisrael were standing in front of Yam Suf with the Egyptians behind them and Moshe Rabbeinu not knowing what to do turned to Hashem.  Hashem’s response, “Mah Titzak E’laiy (Why are you yelling to Me?)”, meaning now is not the time for tefilla.

Hashem wants us to trust in Him and therefore His response proceeding response was, “Daber el B’nai Yisrael v’yeesa’u (Speak to B’nai Yisrael and let them proceed forward).”  As B’nai Yisrael stood at an ocean filled with water the required response was to proceed forward and not to pray to Hashem for help.

Move forth in life with emuna and bitachon and you shall see great miracles just as Nachshon ben Aminadav did when he entered the Yam Suf. The tribe of Yehuda entered the water and the water ascended to their thighs; yet they continued.  The tribe of Binyomin followed and the water reached their stomachs; still not discouraged they proceeded.  The water then went to their mouths and they announced as written in Tehillim (69:2), “Save me Hashem for water has come up to my soul” and then the sea split.

They did as Hashem commanded; proceed and I will save you.  Don’t have any doubt I will always be there for you.  The Shomer Emunim teaches in the section of Divine Providence in the name of the Holy Baal Shem Tov ztk’l that if a person c”v finds himself in a place of distress he should strengthen his heart to trust in Hashem and he will surely be saved.

The lesson here; there is a time for tefilla and there a time to simply do and trust.

Today’s daily dose is dedicated to the refuah shleimah of Menachem Mendel ben Chaya Mushka a 23 month old baby who is undergoing testing.  May he merit a complete healing amongst all of Klal Yisrael who are sick and suffering b’karov b’rachamim, Amen.

BS’D

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Today’s daily dose is dedicated to the refuah shleimah of Raphael Elisha Meir ben Devorah a six year old boy in need of our tefillot.  If you can take challah today and/or next Shabbat in the zechut of his refuah please email: cdparkoffcoaching@gmail.com.  Please pass the word along to others.  May he merit a complete healing amongst all of Klal Yisrael who are sick and suffering b’karov b’rachamim, Amen.

The AriZal teaches us that from around mid-Friday we should strive to distance ourselves from physical pleasure.  The reason for this being that we must make room for the immense spiritual light that will illuminate the world on Shabbat.  Often we mistakenly fill the voids in life by immersing ourselves in material lusts all the while misinterpreting the spiritual emptiness as a physical one.  Yet we cannot give the soul physical toys to play with; she simply cannot relate.

The theme of Shabbat is to distance and separate ourselves from this world and zoom into the world to come.  It is of great value to practice this in our everyday lives, otherwise our ability to bond with Borei Olam and experience His presence diminishes.  This life exercise is not so difficult when we contemplate the reward we shall receive when exerting the proper effort.

The delight derived as we are enveloped in Shabbat Kodesh is an intense thrill for the soul.  It can reach the point where we desire only to return to Hashem and want to permanently re-unite with Him on high.  It is more exhilarating than any physical pleasure this world has to offer.  In fact such was the feeling of B’nai Yisrael when they were standing at Har Sinai when they were personally spoken to by Hashem.  They no longer wanted to be ‘trapped’ in their physicality and yearned only to merge with the One and Only truth.

The worst punishment a person may experience is loneliness which leads to feelings of abandonment and unworthiness.  It is a profound fear that all of us have consciously or embedded deep within.  Cleaving to Hashem requires continuous daily effort.  This investment of thought must be practiced often throughout the day in order to prepare ourselves for the light of Shabbat and increase our knowledge that we are never alone and always have Hashem near.

We may then build our workweek on the precious lingering bond built on Shabbat which will continue to hold us until the following Shabbat.  It will be easier to find our way back even if c”v we may have drifted off into ‘playing’ with this worlds toys.  This is the ongoing impact Shabbat has on our lives.