BS’D
Everlasting change must originate from the inner scream of our hearts. This shriek speaks words of grief over a lifeless chase without purpose and happiness. Particularly these days we should involve ourselves with ‘hearing our shame and not responding’; contemplating our misdeeds and feeling remorse, motivating us to change our ways.
Rebbe Nachman ztk’l teaches teshuva is to return; to come back to the true standing of ‘man’. Man’s true status is embodied by humility; his ability to say “I do not rule”. Therefore all negative emotions – frustrations, anger, sadness, stress, etc. are signs that man has not acted like ‘man’, rather has taken kingship on himself thinking he is in charge. Teshuva returns “I will rule’ to “Hashem You rule”.
How do we know we have made teshuva? We need to gauge how much negativity we feel in certain areas of our lives. Those situations which are ‘constantly driving me mad’ are indicative to areas which we assume ‘kingship’ over and have not allowed Hashem to ‘rule’ over. Here is where we need to do teshuva the most.
Teshuva is not an easy process. It demands deep looking and tough contemplation and this may be painful. However, these are the steps that lead us to our own mirror; to see where we are broken and what places need healing. As we surrender ‘our desire to rule’ and hand the scepter to Hashem, our hearts fill with great joy at discovering how beloved we are to Hashem.
If anyone would like to help out families who are financially struggling here in Eretz Yisrael, I would be happy to be a good shaliach to distribute to them what is truly lacking and desperately needed to make their chag beautiful. Tizku’ l’mitzvot.
