Monthly Archives: January 2017

BS’D

Prayers for Shalom bayit should be included in all of our daily tefillot and ‘talks’ with Hashem. Undoubtedly marriages experience ups and downs however a vital key to peace is when the wife and husband individually invest time and effort on refining their personal middot.

Feeling fulfilled as an individual enables us to unite with our spouse in a more positive way.  The AriZal teaches that our spouse is our tikkun; the way to repair a spiritual fault we hold within our own self.

As Rav Ezriel Tauber shlit”a so eloquently describes marriage, ‘You can’t find peace with your other half if you do not have peace with your first half (meaning within you)’. Hashem knows what is best and sets before us that which we need for our eternal benefit.  We are here to spiritually grow and mend our aching nefesh.

Trust Hashem’s plan and rely on His infinite wisdom; we are working for our soul’s eternal good.  However we cannot achieve anything on our own and should beseech Hashem’s guidance each and every day for ultimate success in marriage and all of our endeavors.

BS’D

Stop for a moment and contemplate the amazing gifts Hashem bestows upon you.  Begin by combing your life and viewing every minute. See how Hashem took, takes and will keep taking care of you.  This is the beginning of loving HaKadosh Baruch Hu conditionally. Most definitely your heart should be filled with intense love.

Now you can enter the next phase of love – unconditional love to Hashem. Think about Hashem’s existence and the fact that He is always with you. Talk with Him and make Him the center of your life.  Remove the barriers that block your heart. Sharpen your awareness that Hashem rests within you.

The Maharal ztk”l explains that feeling Hashem’s love is dependent on one’s understanding of how fragile life is.  Each and every moment of life is granted to each person out of Hashem’s will for her to exist.   Acknowledge how vulnerable existence is and how life is ever changing. We need endless Rachamei Shamayim for every step we take.

The Chazon Ish ztk”l teaches that when our emuna increases we begin to feel ‘Divinely taken care of’ and watched over.  An overall feeling of trust and inner calm sweeps through our emotions and unconditional love is carried into our heart.

BS’D

Feelings of hurt gradually turn into anger; feeling we weren’t treated fairly.  Upon close look at the word ‘fair’ let’s ask the question, “What defines fairness?” Fairness is relative to the one who speaks the word. Fairness is connected to our emotions which are born out of our perception of life and the way we think things should be. Negative emotions arise when we feel events are unjust.

Rav Dessler ztk’l teaches that the soul carries middat hatzedek (the attribute of truth, a point of truth). This spark of G-dliness carries with it Hashem’s signature – emet (truth). Therefore Klal Yisrael has an inherent drive to constantly seek the truth – to seek justice/fairness.

However negativity crawls into our emotional system each time we sense an event is unfair.  Still let’s remember that our interpretation is personal and relative to our personal life experiences; a limited viewpoint indeed.

This explains why emuna is vital. Our predisposed analysis is tainted by our past.   We cannot trust our eyes since it varies based on mood, habit and the way we were taught to look at life or as a result of the hardships we went through.   Truth is Hashem’s monogram and belongs solely to Him; it is never changing and eternal.