BS’D
Attitude dictates everything. Waking up with the words ‘Modeh Ani’ in the morning sets the tone for the entire day. We are geared into gratitude mode by saying ‘Thank You Hashem” from the moment we wake up. What is our attitude upon waking? ‘Oy, another day!’ or ‘Yay, another day!
Saying ‘thank you’ binds us to the One we are thanking. However, it is difficult to live with gratitude if we are focused only on the negative. There are many people who face exactly the same challenges and yet are affected in vastly different ways. For instance, some unmarried women over child-bearing age are cheerful and accepting whereas others are despondent. And some Holocaust survivors became frum whereas others rejected Judasim. Why?
The way we perceive a situation depends to a large extent on our positive attitude, acceptance and gratitude. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Making peace with our reality is Basic Living 101. We cannot change what occurs to us but we can choose our attitude and reaction.
In Tehillim, David Hamelech writes “Pekudei Hashem yesharim misamchei lev (The laws of Hashem are just, and gladden the heart)” (Tehillim 19:9). Torah is a personal letter written to every Jew; since it echoes a different message to each of us at different stages in our lives. It is the map of life; our compass when we feel lost. We can feel reassured, grateful and content knowing that Hashem has left us with a personal note to read when we are in need of guidance.
But it is not just a matter of focusing on the good. We may also start to realize that since everything from Hashem is good, even situations which we presume are “bad” themselves are inherently good. In Purim we read: “Shoshanat Yaakov tzahala v’Samecha (The rose of Yaakov filled with joy)” A rose is a beautiful fragrant flower. But a rose only achieves its bloom and maintains its fragrance and beauty because it is connected to its stem. Without its stem, a rose simply wilts and dies. It is the stem which gives it life, allows it to bloom. Yet, at the same time as giving life, the stem of a rose is beset by many thorns. Perhaps the thorns can represent the challenges faced by the Jewish people, who gain strength from the many difficult, painful episodes in our history.
When we reflect on these thorny moments of pain, mistakes and even guilt, we can gain perspective and overcome the challenges. Then we can transform our attitude to the hardship, to grow more confident, to “blossom” and reach our full potential. We can realize that “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger!” and celebrate these thorns as an inherent part of our stems. When we smell the sweet fragrant rose, we can also then be grateful and appreciate the thorns themselves.
