Yearly Archives: 2016

BS”D

Things aren’t as they seem
 
This is the month in the Jewish calendar that reminds us that nothing is ever hopeless.
 
In the Purim story, events were unfolding in a way that looked terrible. Esther had to leave her home to go live with an anti-Semitic king. The majority of Jews joined in a lavish party celebrating the destruction of the Temple. An irrevocable genocide decree was issued against the Jewish people and the situation seemed hopeless. But, in the end, we see how each of these events were part of the story of our ultimate salvation – and has led to the greatest celebration throughout Jewish history.
 
The month of Adar reminds us that what seems terrible can turn around in a moment. And that thing that was so terribly hard while we were in it, actually played a role in an eventual good that came out of the situation. Think of time in your own life where something that was challenging and difficult actually led to something good. Feel grateful for the process, for the journey – and for the good that was born from the hard situation.

For no particular reason say ‘Thank you Aba, I love You and thank You for giving me life!’

BS’D

Missing the millions of blessings

Gratitude is a state of mind that arises when you affirm a good thing in your life that comes from outside yourself, or when you notice and relish little pleasures. Though some people and things are clear blessings, this state of mind doesn’t actually depend on your life circumstances. Whether it’s the sight of a lovely face or a tasty bite of food or good health, there is always something to be grateful for. Even bad experiences at least teach us something. And gratitude is not just a feeling outside your control that arrives willy-nilly. It’s more like a radio channel: you can choose at any time to tune in.

Gratitude acknowledges connection, and perhaps for this reason it is central to Torah living. When we contemplate our place in the complex make-up of this world, we feel wonder and joy. That realization leads us to be thankful.

Why is it that we don’t go through our days feeling thankful for the countless blessings we are experiencing all the time? Focusing on whatever is going wrong causes us to miss the millions of blessings we receive every day. Today, let’s try to shift focus.

By Yael Zvia Bauer

For no particular reason say ‘Thank you Aba, I love You and thank You for giving me life!’

BS”D

Why is saying ‘Thank you’ to others so important?
A recent study conducted to determine how the two words ‘thank you’ affect others came to the following conclusion:

It is not surprising that saying thank you makes people more likely to help in the future.  However what is surprising is the reason why they wanted to continue; because they appreciated being needed and felt more socially valued when they were thanked.
We often shy away from offering help to others as we do not want to convey to them that we think they are ‘failures’ which some may feel when they receive help from others.  Yet what we learn from this experiment is that the act of saying thank you to the ‘helper’ reassures them that their help is valued and needed, thus motivating them to offer it once again in the future.

For no particular reason say ‘Thank you Aba, I love You and thank you for giving me life!’

BS”D

‘Noticing the Good’ notebook

Here’s a Gratitude cultivating exercise:

Start a ‘Noticing-the-Good’ notebook –
Choose a person in your life that you want to improve your relationship with. This could be a significant person you are already close with, or a person that annoys you (but you want to work on the relationship – either for the sake of the relationship, or for the sake of building your own character).

Every day write down one (or more) positive trait you see in them. It could be something that they did or some aspect of who they are that you appreciate. Sometimes you have to look hard to find the good. Look hard, dig deep, search for the good. Do this every night. Then, whenever you get upset with this person, pull out the notebook and remind yourself of all the good.

By Yael Zvia Bauer

For no particular reason say ‘Thank you Aba, I love You and thank you for giving me life!’

BS’D

Big Hill Grocery Shop

Last week I made my regular trip to the grocery store. As I trudged up the hill, pushing my stroller, I had a kvetchy little commentary running through my head. It went something like this:
This hill is so steep! I wish I had a car!

My stroller is so heavy with the weight of all these bags, I don’t have the energy for this!
Why is it so hot today, I thought it was winter? Who ever heard of weather like this? I’m exhausted!!  I can’t believe I had to get up at 5:30 this morning, yet again!
Why is my baby ready to start the day so early! How am I expected to function on so little sleep!?

My little commentator then moved on to review the insulting comment a friend made the previous day, and reminded me about a stressful financial situation to worry about. By the time I got home, I collapsed into my chair, completely exhausted and irritated. 

Today I made the same weekly trip to buy groceries. The hill was still steep, the weather was again unseasonably warm, and I still didn’t have a car. My baby had again bopped up from his crib quite early (5:19 to be exact), and finances were still tight. But something was different. When I got home today, I felt energized and excited and felt like the richest person.  In turn, I was nicer to my family, I felt motivated to tackle a task I had been procrastinating, and I was inspired to do a kindness for a friend. What changed? Unlike last week, today I was armed with a powerful and transforming weapon. Today I was wearing my GRATITUDE EYES. 

So what specifically was it that changed in my walk to the grocery store today – that left me energized rather than exhausted? Instead of focusing on the steepness of the hill, I chose to notice the beautiful blue sky and to hear the sweet song of the birds. Rather than feeling weighed down by the heaviness of my stroller, I chose to appreciate all the groceries and delicious, nutritious food I was able to buy. Instead of complaining that I got woken up so early, I chose to bliss out on the fact that I have a healthy, active, energetic baby. I began thinking what a miracle it is that I get to start my day with my baby snuggled on my lap, reading stories, and watching the sun come up. 

My finances hadn’t changed one bit – but I realized that I am the richest person; in every way that is important to me. 

By Yael Zvia Bauer

For no particular reason say ‘Thank you Aba, I love You and thank You for giving me life!’

BS’D

Vibrating on the Gratitude Frequency

Let’s wake up that point inside of each of us that vibrates on the gratitude frequency. That place deep inside that sees and appreciates the miracles happening – for us and around us all the time.

There is a light deep within us that is always singing and dancing with overflowing gratitude.

On Shabbos, when we can quiet out the distracting noise of our cell phones ringing and our computers blinking and our day planners keeping us on task – this light is easier to feel and this song is easier to hear. It comes from within and radiates all around us.

Good Shabbos!
By Yael Zvia Bauer

For no particular reason but to say ‘Thank you Aba, I love You and thank you for giving me life!’

BS”D
The Energy of Renewal

It’s the new moon, which means that today is the first day of new Jewish month (Rosh Chodesh) Adar Sheni! There is an awesome energy of renewal in Rosh Chodesh – which is determined by the moon, which is constantly changing. In our own lives, we are also constantly growing and changing. Like the moon that waxes and wanes, we are not static or stuck in the same place. Let us tap into the energy of renewal and Rosh Chodesh by using our gratitude eyes to see with a fresh perspective the blessings in our lives and creating ripples in our world.

Even a simple “thank you” spurs people to act in compassionate ways they might not otherwise consider. People thanked for giving directions help more willingly in the future, social workers who get thank-you letters visit their clients more often, and diners whose waiters write “thanks” on the check give bigger tips.

Take out a pen and paper and let your creative energy flow with envisioning what you want your month to be like. Chodesh tov!

For no particular reason but to say ‘Thank you Aba, I love You and thank you for giving me life!’

BS”D

Think back to a teacher you had in your life who positively impacted you. It could be they inspired you, or taught you about a part of yourself, or woke up a love of learning a particular subject in you. It could be they taught you formally, or maybe just taught you through their example.

This might be your 4^th grade teacher who took your class bird watching in Cape May and taught you about wildflowers. This could be your kindergarten teacher who taught you how to share. Or your best friend’s mother that always had a kind word and inspiring insights. Or that acquaintance that always inspired you through her example. This could be anyone who has touched your life and taught you in any way, shape or form.

Think of this person, and realize what a gift it is to have teachers, mentors, and inspirations in our lives. Now pick up the phone, or a pen (or your email) and thank this person for the impact they made in your life.

By Yael Zvia Bauer

Here is a shiur with great insights on the importance of living a life of gratitude and the meaning of the tefilla Nishmat Kol Chai:   CLICK HERE

For no particular reason say ‘Thank you Aba, I love You and thank you for giving me life!’

BS”D

We have so many blessings in our lives that we don’t even notice because they happen all the time. They seem so commonplace that we completely miss them and take them for granted.

A conscious focus on gratitude may also remind you of unassuming pluses that get lost in the ups and downs of a busy life. “The most important blessings are the ones that are most consistent,” such as family, health and home, says Philip Watkins, an Eastern Washington University psychologist. “And those are the ones we take for granted.” Grateful reflection helps you pick out and savor the good in life, even if the good isn’t flashy.
 
Today, let’s focus on a blessing that seems so normal that we barely give it a second thought, let alone feeling gratitude for it. By doing so, we can tune in to the miracles unfolding all around us all the time. Here’s one example:
 
What a blessing that the sun came up today – bringing with it freshness and renewal.
 
At night, when our world is dark and we can’t see clearly, it’s easy for things to feel scary and overwhelming. But the darkest hour is just before dawn. And what a gift that today the sun came up to shine light into the world and remind us experimentally about the energy of renewal and rebirth.

By Yael Zvia Bauer

For no particular reason say ‘Thank you Aba, I love You and thank you for giving me life!’