Monthly Archives: March 2016

BS”D

Fresh eyes

Look around. Notice something new – as you go about your normal daily routine today.
 
As you walk to work, or to your child’s preschool, or to the grocery store – on the same path you take all the time – look around you with fresh eyes and find something new. Give yourself permission, for a moment, to marvel in awe and wonder at the infinite goodness that we encounter all the time.
 
* May it’s that tree – with intricate delicate leaves that photosynthesize the sun’s light into oxygen for us to breath.
* Maybe it’s that flower just beginning to open up and blossom in your neighbor’s flower box.
* Maybe it’s that old man sitting every day on his front stoop, reading his paper, who has a lifetime of experience and acquired wisdom.

Look with fresh eyes. And appreciate that we have eyes to see.

By Yael Zvia Bauer

For no particular reason say ‘Thank you Aba, I love You and thank you for giving me life!’

BS”D
Gratitude Jar
 
Here’s a gratitude cultivating exercise to try:
 
Place a jar on your table where each family member regularly writes something they appreciate or value in one another. Then, once a week or once a month, pull them out and read out loud as a family.

Here’s what you can learn from this simple exercise:

• It doesn’t matter what you write.
• Mindfulness makes the mundane special.
• Reading the slips brings you back to the abundance in your life.
• Appreciating the small things my husband does improves my attitude and our marriage

Alternatively, this can be a personal exercise. Place the gratitude jar on your table, and you regularly write on slips of paper something you appreciate or are grateful for from your day. At the end of the week or month, go through and read what you wrote, and remember all the big and little blessings you experienced recently.

For no particular reason say ‘Thank you Aba, I love You and thank you for giving me life!’

BS’D

Reading our Megillah, (it’s almost Purim)
 
In the megillah of our lives, we often don’t stop to connect the dots. We are aware of what is happening in our lives now, but we can sometimes forget we are part of a much bigger story. We can fail to notice how significant or seemingly small moments from our past led us here. There are miracles and blessings we are enjoying that happened many years ago, sometimes even before we are born.
 
Here’s an example: my husband is a triplet and was born extremely premature. He was in the neonatal unit for months, and needed heart surgery on his little tiny newborn heart. This happened over 30 years ago. And, in my day-to-day life, do I think about this? Nope – it is something I rarely think about, let alone feel gratitude about. But, the truth is, this is a miracle for me that was set in motion 2 years before I was even born. When I stop to think about this, I can’t help but feel an outpouring of gratitude for the successful baby heart surgery, and all the care and healing that he experienced as he entered this world.
 
As we read the Purim megillah this Wednesday night and Thursday morning, let’s create a space to pause and read our own megillahs. Let’s take a moment to connect the dots of our lives, and see how one event led to another. Let’s appreciate the miracles that were set into place years ago – that were waiting for the right time to ripen and blossom.
 
Happy (almost) Purim!
By Yael Zvia Bauer

For no particular reason say ‘Thank you Aba, I love You and thank you for giving me life!’

BS”D

Things aren’t as they seem
 
This is the month in the Jewish calendar that reminds us that nothing is ever hopeless.
 
In the Purim story, events were unfolding in a way that looked terrible. Esther had to leave her home to go live with an anti-Semitic king. The majority of Jews joined in a lavish party celebrating the destruction of the Temple. An irrevocable genocide decree was issued against the Jewish people and the situation seemed hopeless. But, in the end, we see how each of these events were part of the story of our ultimate salvation – and has led to the greatest celebration throughout Jewish history.
 
The month of Adar reminds us that what seems terrible can turn around in a moment. And that thing that was so terribly hard while we were in it, actually played a role in an eventual good that came out of the situation. Think of time in your own life where something that was challenging and difficult actually led to something good. Feel grateful for the process, for the journey – and for the good that was born from the hard situation.

For no particular reason say ‘Thank you Aba, I love You and thank You for giving me life!’

BS’D

Missing the millions of blessings

Gratitude is a state of mind that arises when you affirm a good thing in your life that comes from outside yourself, or when you notice and relish little pleasures. Though some people and things are clear blessings, this state of mind doesn’t actually depend on your life circumstances. Whether it’s the sight of a lovely face or a tasty bite of food or good health, there is always something to be grateful for. Even bad experiences at least teach us something. And gratitude is not just a feeling outside your control that arrives willy-nilly. It’s more like a radio channel: you can choose at any time to tune in.

Gratitude acknowledges connection, and perhaps for this reason it is central to Torah living. When we contemplate our place in the complex make-up of this world, we feel wonder and joy. That realization leads us to be thankful.

Why is it that we don’t go through our days feeling thankful for the countless blessings we are experiencing all the time? Focusing on whatever is going wrong causes us to miss the millions of blessings we receive every day. Today, let’s try to shift focus.

By Yael Zvia Bauer

For no particular reason say ‘Thank you Aba, I love You and thank You for giving me life!’

BS”D

Why is saying ‘Thank you’ to others so important?
A recent study conducted to determine how the two words ‘thank you’ affect others came to the following conclusion:

It is not surprising that saying thank you makes people more likely to help in the future.  However what is surprising is the reason why they wanted to continue; because they appreciated being needed and felt more socially valued when they were thanked.
We often shy away from offering help to others as we do not want to convey to them that we think they are ‘failures’ which some may feel when they receive help from others.  Yet what we learn from this experiment is that the act of saying thank you to the ‘helper’ reassures them that their help is valued and needed, thus motivating them to offer it once again in the future.

For no particular reason say ‘Thank you Aba, I love You and thank you for giving me life!’

BS”D

‘Noticing the Good’ notebook

Here’s a Gratitude cultivating exercise:

Start a ‘Noticing-the-Good’ notebook –
Choose a person in your life that you want to improve your relationship with. This could be a significant person you are already close with, or a person that annoys you (but you want to work on the relationship – either for the sake of the relationship, or for the sake of building your own character).

Every day write down one (or more) positive trait you see in them. It could be something that they did or some aspect of who they are that you appreciate. Sometimes you have to look hard to find the good. Look hard, dig deep, search for the good. Do this every night. Then, whenever you get upset with this person, pull out the notebook and remind yourself of all the good.

By Yael Zvia Bauer

For no particular reason say ‘Thank you Aba, I love You and thank you for giving me life!’

BS’D

Big Hill Grocery Shop

Last week I made my regular trip to the grocery store. As I trudged up the hill, pushing my stroller, I had a kvetchy little commentary running through my head. It went something like this:
This hill is so steep! I wish I had a car!

My stroller is so heavy with the weight of all these bags, I don’t have the energy for this!
Why is it so hot today, I thought it was winter? Who ever heard of weather like this? I’m exhausted!!  I can’t believe I had to get up at 5:30 this morning, yet again!
Why is my baby ready to start the day so early! How am I expected to function on so little sleep!?

My little commentator then moved on to review the insulting comment a friend made the previous day, and reminded me about a stressful financial situation to worry about. By the time I got home, I collapsed into my chair, completely exhausted and irritated. 

Today I made the same weekly trip to buy groceries. The hill was still steep, the weather was again unseasonably warm, and I still didn’t have a car. My baby had again bopped up from his crib quite early (5:19 to be exact), and finances were still tight. But something was different. When I got home today, I felt energized and excited and felt like the richest person.  In turn, I was nicer to my family, I felt motivated to tackle a task I had been procrastinating, and I was inspired to do a kindness for a friend. What changed? Unlike last week, today I was armed with a powerful and transforming weapon. Today I was wearing my GRATITUDE EYES. 

So what specifically was it that changed in my walk to the grocery store today – that left me energized rather than exhausted? Instead of focusing on the steepness of the hill, I chose to notice the beautiful blue sky and to hear the sweet song of the birds. Rather than feeling weighed down by the heaviness of my stroller, I chose to appreciate all the groceries and delicious, nutritious food I was able to buy. Instead of complaining that I got woken up so early, I chose to bliss out on the fact that I have a healthy, active, energetic baby. I began thinking what a miracle it is that I get to start my day with my baby snuggled on my lap, reading stories, and watching the sun come up. 

My finances hadn’t changed one bit – but I realized that I am the richest person; in every way that is important to me. 

By Yael Zvia Bauer

For no particular reason say ‘Thank you Aba, I love You and thank You for giving me life!’

BS’D

Vibrating on the Gratitude Frequency

Let’s wake up that point inside of each of us that vibrates on the gratitude frequency. That place deep inside that sees and appreciates the miracles happening – for us and around us all the time.

There is a light deep within us that is always singing and dancing with overflowing gratitude.

On Shabbos, when we can quiet out the distracting noise of our cell phones ringing and our computers blinking and our day planners keeping us on task – this light is easier to feel and this song is easier to hear. It comes from within and radiates all around us.

Good Shabbos!
By Yael Zvia Bauer

For no particular reason but to say ‘Thank you Aba, I love You and thank you for giving me life!’